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Thursday, April 7, 2011

N2MEUC : Handling The Collision of Desired Experience with Fears from the Past

In the past,  pain of loneliness  drove me to establish or maintain connections with people.  These days, discontent, which is easier to ignore, signals my need for human relationships. I guess that most/all of us have had people experiences that can be rated from terrible to mediocre to good to ecstatic and shades in between.  I experience a tug of war between fear and desire during all the stages, deciding, planning, or waiting for arrival, of  getting together with one or more people.

At this point in my life, I repeatedly work to bring myself out of the fear and into remembering and having good feeling anticipation (instead of anxiety or bad feeling anticipation or apathy).

During the time period between setting the date for the first Enlightening Adventures in Meditative Intimacy and the arrival of the date, the clamor of fearful inner voices gets so big than I almost decide to cancel the event and walk away. However,  encouraging voices remind me to recall the vision that started Enlightening Adventures in Meditative Intimacy and all the deepening wonderful experiences this venture promises.  

Again and again, a voice (an idea) interjects into the fear to remind me to remember what I want. I use methods to move from fear into happy anticipation and happy preparation of the upcoming people event.
The methods are breath; appreciate the reminder; remember good times from the past and the associated good feelings/vibration/energy; remember that I want more in the future. And I go investigate the fears, because they may hold a step I need to take to make the event better or me better for the event.

AND, I am reminded to trust Spirit to bring people who love what we are offering and that we love the Presence they offer.  AND, that once I am facilitating and being at an event I can BE at the event and  rejoice the success afterwards as my personal history reminds me.

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